Silbermann says... A journalist marches on his stomach

Eric Silbermann is a fan of many aspects of the Bahrain Grand Prix, but he seems to be looking forward to breakfast, lunch and dinner the most...

Three square meals a day; that’s what any self-respecting journalist likes to look forward to at a Grand Prix and the Bahrainis bless ‘em deliver exactly that.

On Thursday, once we have signed on in the Media Centre, secured our seat for the duration, bagged a locker, clicked onto the Wifi and picked up a programme, the most important part of the process is getting the little tickets that allow you daily access to the canteen.

Getting to the giant gastronomic tent involves leaving the paddock and walking through the tunnel to the public area on the outside of the track. There are some venues where I wouldn’t dream of mixing with the hoi polloi but the Sakhir circuit draws such a meagre crowd that it’s no hardship at all. My very first visit, for the inaugural event, did not go too well however, as the organisers were still busy painting the inside of the tunnel and some flecks of fresh yellow paint found themselves onto the sand coloured jacket I was wearing. The question I repeatedly ask myself, even all these years later is what the hell I was doing wearing a smart jacket going to a race track. Because unless I’ve managed to completely blank out some sort of major career change a few years back, I’ve never worked in Marketing.

For as long as I can remember, we have been met at the door to the catering tent by the same extremely jolly English lady, who treats each and everyone of us as if we are favourite guests at a posh London restaurant. Inside, breakfast, lunch and dinner is a mix of Middle Eastern and European fare, but best of all it’s a great place to meet people who do not work in Formula 1! Yes, amazing but true, we get to trough with teams and drivers from support series, so it’s ideal for catching up with old mates.

The diner has really come into its own with the tedious switch to a night race, as we never finish work in time to get dinner in Manama. That’s a shame, because contrary to what one might have been led to expect in terms of local customs, this event has seen some monumental night time benders. Even this morning, as I went down for hotel breakfast at Jetlag o’clock, local revellers were pouring out of the hotel nightclub in all their Arabian finery.

Not only do the organisers feed us, they give us cheap accommodation and free transport from and to the airport, hotel and track. However, for the past couple of years, along with some colleagues, I’ve gone the hire car route to avoid sharing the bus back to the hotel with some extremely inebriated race fans. Once again this year the hire car firm ensured that I am the temporary owner of a Chinese BYD car, the initials apparently standing for “Build Your Dreams,” which might be true if you like waking up in the night in a cold sweat after dreaming you’ve just crashed a huge four-wheel-drive vehicle with no suspension, a remote key that won’t lock the doors and plastic bags still covering the Naugahyde seats. I thought the Naugahyde had been hunted to extinction years ago, but clearly vast numbers of these beasts are still roaming the North China Plain.

Pretending that the Naugahyde is some sort of bovine creature whose skin is used to make car seats would be a pretty good April Fool for today and a fellow hack suggested McLaren might have flown Stoffel Vandoorne here all the way from Japan, only to tell him it had been an April 1^st prank and that Alonso was driving after all. Am I the only one who’s miffed the Spaniard – a three-time winner here - is not giving it a go this weekend? I’m far too much of a coward to contemplate driving an F1 car, but I do like the drivers to be heroic and I think he should at least have been given a chance to try the car this morning in FP1 to see how he felt. But the FIA has to think about potential legal issues, as we now live in a world where people aren’t allowed to think for themselves and litigation looms around every corner, especially one where you end up upside down in a gravel trap.

This won’t be an easy circuit for Vandoorne’s F1 debut and indeed the tricky Sakhir track itself is probably the best thing about this weekend. It’s a shame the fact it is a hot desert location is spoilt by running it at night though: in Singapore, the floodlights really highlight the beauty of the Marina Bay venue, creating a magical atmosphere, whereas here, the darkness simply serves to hide the fact there’s really nothing to see.

Bahrain has produced some exciting races, while the one that sticks in my mind is the 2008 race when Felipe Massa won for the second year in succession. I was in a rush to get to the airport on Sunday night after the race and he kindly offered me a lift. We were being driven in a little four wheel drive thing and I got to bounce around in the back next to the winner’s trophy, while Felipe himself took a long and emotional phone call from then Ferrari President Luca di Montezemolo. It was an enjoyable insight into a winner’s day. The driver of the car treated me with as much deference as he showed to Felipe, at least until we got to the private aviation part of the airport, where I wouldn’t get out of the car and asked to be taken to the plebs’ terminal. By the time I made it clear I also wanted the Economy Class entrance, the driver couldn’t wait to throw me and my bag out onto the pavement. This year I will be doing the same journey in my magnificent Chinese hire car, or at least I’m Ho Ping To.

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