Valtteri Bottas has revealed how he became addicted to his training regimen in the early stages of his F1 career, and how the dependence led to an eating disorder and mental issues.
Bottas graduated to Formula 1 in 2013 with Williams, the Finn remaining with the Grove-based outfit for four season before his high-profile move to Mercedes in 2017.
After a difficult rookie season during which he scored just a single top-ten finish, Bottas was determined to achieve significant progress in 2014.
But while he made a big step forward that year, concluding his campaign fourth in the championship and well ahead of Williams teammate Felipe Massa, Bottas' progress also took its toll on the Finn's mental comfort.
"I trained myself to pain physically and mentally," he revealed to Finnish journalist and TV host Maria Veitola.
"It got out of hand, and it became an addiction. No eating disorder was officially diagnosed, but it was definitely there."
Obsessed with losing weight below the prescribed threshold, Bottas' dined daily on steamed broccoli which he ingested in between his relentless physical training sessions.
"It wasn't very healthy. I wanted to be the best, and I thought I had to do that. If the team says that I have to weigh 68 kilos and I naturally weigh 73 kilos, then I'll do everything for that."
The end of F1's 2014 campaign was marked by the horrendous accident in Japan suffered by young hopeful Jules Bianchi, a crash that left the Frenchman in a coma and from which he would eventually succumb the following summer.
The tragedy left Bottas distraught which, added to his eating disorder, compelled the then 25-year-old to seek outside help, having found little support with F1 itself to alleviate his psychological issues.
"To help me recover, I needed a psychologist whose first assessment was that I was almost like a robot who only wants to reach his goal and has no feelings at all.
"It unsettled me. It's true that at that time I had no other life than F1."
Eventually, the ten-time Grand Prix winner put himself mentally back on the right track. But in 2021, over the course of his last season with Mercedes, Bottas once again called upon outside help to guide him through a difficult period.
"Last season [in 2021] was more difficult again, when the future was on the line, and I didn't know which team I would drive for. It was a big step to ask for outside help," he recalled.
"That's when you think when you're such a tough guy that you don't need help, that you can take care of things by looking in the mirror.
"But a professional knows how to ask the right questions and open a lot of locks. I'm not the only one there who sometimes has a hard time."
Indeed, McLaren's Lando Norris and Mercedes' George Russell have admitted to feeling undermined or depressed at times when feeling trapped in their sporting life.
Bottas admits that coming to terms with Lewis Hamilton's superiority at Mercedes was a continuous struggle that left him properly exhausted after five seasons.
"For such a competitive nature, it was hard to accept," he said. "It was only in the last year that I could accept that Lewis Hamilton was a better driver.
"I always wondered how I could beat him and win the world championship. It was quite an exhausting five years."
In hindsight, Bottas believes that he should have perhaps been kinder to himself and more forgiving when locked in the dark.
"I wanted to win everything right away, and then when it didn't happen, it was hard to accept."
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