McLaren boss Zak Brown doesn’t usually need a microphone to make himself heard – but when he gets one, sparks tend to fly.
At McLaren’s Christmas party last weekend, the Woking squad was in full celebratory mode after a season for the ages. Constructors’ and Drivers’ titles were secured, champagne flowed freely, and team boss Brown took to the stage alongside his two stars, Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri
What followed was less a polished speech and more a stand-up routine with racing overtones — and a couple of pointed jabs that landed loudly.
Brown, clearly enjoying the room and the moment, decided honesty was the best festive policy.
“We took big risks on both of you, and don’t pretend you had better options,” Brown started by saying.
Then came the punchlines. Turning to Piastri first, Brown delivered the line that made the room gasp and laugh in equal measure:
“You had f***ing Alpine,” before swivelling toward Norris and adding: “And you had to be faster than Stoffel Vandoorne.”
Cue laughter, raised eyebrows, and probably a few spilt drinks.
Punchlines That Land Hard
The comments neatly summed up McLaren’s journey — and Brown’s role in it. Norris has been a McLaren project since his junior days, blossoming into a world champion after joining the F1 team in 2019.
Piastri’s arrival, meanwhile, came at Alpine’s expense following one of the most awkward contract sagas in recent F1 memory. Brown didn’t just sign the Australian; he snatched him from under his former team’s nose, at the behest of the Aussie’s astute manager, Mark Webber.
The Vandoorne reference was no accident either. Norris’ debut season came at the cost of the Belgian’s seat, during a bleak McLaren era marked by an uncompetitive Honda-powered car.
But Brown wasn’t done with the compliments — or the humor. He added:
“Couldn't dream of having a better driver lineup on and off the track. Two fastest guys in the world and nicest. That's the McLaren way. Proper racers like us, which stands for how we race.
“You guys are almost a unicorn combo. Then again, maybe we'll be up here next year saying, ‘fuck that guy.’
“Anyways. Won't come to that. Both drivers love me, idolize me, call me big daddy behind my back.
“Reality is they'll mess with me, but they won't mess with Andrea ‘cause deep down inside they're scared shitless of Andrea.”
Piastri Hits Back
Piastri wasn’t about to let that claim go unchallenged. With a grin aimed at Stella, he shot back:
“This season has been pretty tiring at points, it’s worn us pretty thin. But not quite as thin as our planks in Las Vegas!” he added staring down the McLaren team principal. “We can laugh about it now…”
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And indeed, everyone did.
If nothing else, the joke was a reminder that in Formula 1, success rewrites history, and the winners get the last word… preferably on a stage, with a drink in hand, and absolutely no filter.
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